Got a toothbrush?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
