If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
