Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
