honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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