I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
