I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize