Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
