so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
