I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize