But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
