i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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