I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
