I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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