do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
