i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize