And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
