How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
