I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
