Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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