I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
