Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am naked and annoyed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
