I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
