Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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