Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize