I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
