Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize