I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
