tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
