That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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