I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
