so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize