We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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