jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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