There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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