so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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