Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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