My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize