whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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