Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
