k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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