I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
