How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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