All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
