Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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