I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
