Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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