It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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