garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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