i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
