i don't like sucking hair
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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