On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
