P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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