i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
