How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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