dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
