there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
