I have demons in me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
time to smoke my breakfast
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
