I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
