Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
