stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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