is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
