We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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