So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize