your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
