You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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