Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
