either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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