would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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