Ketchup is God's man juice
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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